Demeaning yourself… settling for scum…

Lying and deceiving… till you have nothing real to hold…

It’s all a farce… this life you call your own…

You made yourself weak…

Gave your mind and body away…

You were lovely… unique as ever…

Lost it all to a façade you live now…

I wish I could talk to you…

But you listen no more…

And I wish I could tell you how real you were before…

I adored you for reasons aplenty…

Which ceased to exist…

When you chose to be another person…

I hope you see what they’ve done to you…
How they’ve crippled you…

These people you live by…

I wish you trusted yourself enough…

To see from your own eyes...

Fragments of thought...

When idle or totally disinterested in what surrounds me, I sink into this totally different current... My mind goes all adventurous and happy or awfully slow and miserable!

And in this very oblivion I wrote...

In this flood of emotions, I am disillusioned by my surroundings... Blinded by the conventions of responsibility, security, obligation and certainty, I forget to 'value' myself...

It is hard as hell to live a life that isn't mine, a life that depends on 'should-Be's'...

I want to be in this place where i know what i want from life...

I want to stop doing what others do... be it the smallest possible choice, i want it to be entirely mine!!

I'd be nothing but a coward if i just 'exist'...

I am pulled between want and need every single day...

Why should it be so hard to decide? Why don't i just BE...?